life

or something like it

the other day i sat through the harsh reality of the lives of some kids that we visit every week. i'm still reeling and processing and waiting for my heart to completely shatter.

a quick run-down-- a 9 year old boy cant read, cant write, cant add and even has trouble speaking. the good thing is he just started school. the bad thing is he's already at least 2 years behind and with the way our "education" system is, he'll never catch up. add on top of all of that a family life that is lacking. parents who arent present, grandparents who dont give a ffff (and liberally use that word in his presence) and no one who cares to spend time with him, tell him he's good, teach him how to live or even how to function.

i'm realizing more and more, or becoming more and more aware, of the simplicity of NOW, more precisely, HERE AND NOW. i am right now. this is the gift God has given me. my gift back to Him is me right here. in this moment, in this place, what can i do to honor God and show the world Who He is?

i thank God that He's helping me become more and more aware of His Presence in and around me and the simple fact that i am exactly where He wants me to be a light for Him. i'm at borders because, at the least, there is one believer who doesnt know what it means to believe. there's another girl who used to weigh 180 pounds and weighs what she weighs now b/c of diet drugs. another girl is a lesbian. another has abandoned her faith. one guy doesnt know how to interact with human beings and another guy doesnt know how to be one. what other reason can God have me at borders than to share Him with them as He's has shared Himself with me?

the same holds true for this little family with these forgotten children. if i dont remember them, who will? if i wont affirm them, who will? if i dont show them that love is more powerful than any "spell" or skill or drug or problem or situation or pain, who will?

ah, and here's the clincher. i can't. i can't be the one. Jesus Christ, through me, can, if i let Him, if i ask Him to and trust Him as He does, as He leads, whatever it takes to release Him.

see, life is pretty simple.